Goodbyes STINK...With A Capital S!

Ugh. Before I married Juan I lived in my comfort zone. Texas. All of my family was there and we were all close. Then I met Juan and fell in love. The thought of being able to move around sounded great at the time, everyone who lives in College Station wanted out, if only for a little while. But for some reason they all ended up back there. So the idea of moving sounded great. Then I had Andrew and when it came time to head to Florida, that idea did not seem to great anymore. I wanted to be around my family. But we loaded up and headed out. We were in Florida for about eight months. I had to tell my very good friend bye which was hard but had the idea of being stationed in Corpus Christi to help me through. It was Texas!! Even though I hated that city because of the crime, I was able to have Sophia in Texas, which meant a lot to me. But it didn't last long. We were in Corpus for five months and got orders to California. By this point I do not find anything fun about moving so much. We loaded up, with a newborn baby, a three year old, and a seven year old and headed to California. The worst drive of my life. Seriously. And if it seems like I am griping a lot in this post, I can. Military wives earn that privilege:) Anyways, we made it to California. We lived in a hotel for a month, I could write a book about that experience, and finally to our house. While we were in our hotel one of Juan's friends from college sent me a message on face book. Well, actually his wife did. We had met before but they moved before us so we never got close. They had just got to Cali a few months before us and they asked us to dinner. That started a great friendship. Ashley became one of the best friends I have ever had. And she was from Texas! Over the last couple of years we have formed a wonderful friendship. She was just like family. The kids loved her and her husband. I knew the time would come when one of us would have to move but tried not to think about it. But sure enough, they got orders...to New York. My heart sank inside but they were so excited I tried to be happy for them. The selfish part of me did not want them to go. Ashley was that friend you could call any time night or day for whatever possible reason and she was there. How would I keep going without her? She was my rock when Juan was deployed and helped me out with the kids a lot. I dreaded the day I had to say goodbye. It brought back memories of hugging my family and telling them goodbye. I didn't like it and wanted to avoid it. But the day came. Me and Sophia went over to get some things and I promised myself I wouldn't cry. But I did. A lot. But I knew they would understand. And the big baby I am, I am crying as I write this. Ahhh!!! So, she is gone. But I know we will be life long friends and look forward to visiting New York!!

We bought land in Texas and are SUPER excited!! We will have a house built on it and have big plans for our future. I am so lucky to have such a determined, hard working man. I am excited about moving back to Texas in about six years but scared at the same time. The military life is what we do. Anything outside of that is scary to me. I am a Marine wife, and a very proud one. I see my husband wear his camis and combat boots to work everyday and know how much our country means to him. So much that he is willing to die for it, when so many are afraid to. I have seen him deploy and the heartache it caused my kids. I cry every time I hear our National Anthem and know how significant and meaningful it is. Everyday I have to wake up wondering if we will get orders to pack up and move or if he will be deployed again. It is a hard feeling to explain but their is pride that comes with being a Marine wife. It will take a while to get used to living the "civilian" life again. But I am sure when I am around family again, it will be easier to adjust.

The kids are doing great. They are constantly arguing with each other and we have learned to ignore the petty things. Like if Andrew looks at Merci wrong and she is on her way to tell and Sophia slaps Andrew and pushes Merci all within seconds of each other. Yeah, we tend to ignore those complaints. I have the sweetest kids but I will be honest, they tattle way too much. I mean about every little thing. We are trying to teach them when it is okay to tell and when it is not, but it hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe one day!!

Where Do I Begin?

That's a good question. Andrew had his first game. I get confused what to label his league as. We signed him up for t-ball but it is actually a coach pitch league, unless the kid can't hit the ball by the fourth swing, then they bring out the stand. So, we will call it the ball league? Juan gets mad when I say t-ball. Maybe because they made him the "pitcher" and he wants to be acknowledged. I don't know! Anyways, Andrew had his first "ball"game. He didn't get a hit so he had to hit off of the stand. Which is perfectly fine. (Remember, we did sign him up for t-ball) He ran so fast to the bases, it was absolutely precious to watch. The biggest mistake I made that day was walking over to him, as he was talking to his teammates, and gave him a kiss and said "good luck honey, mommy loves you." Oops...major embarrassment. My brother-in-law informed me I had just ruined his life. I think he was being a little extreme.... Even though they don't keep score at this age, his team won. Andrew yelled it loud and clear.

Merci started soccer practice last week. She loves it. Her coach is stern, which is good. He knows a lot about the game and keeps the girls on track. Their practices are strictly for practicing, he doesn't allow goofing around. She has her first game Saturday. Apparently the Spring league is much different from the Fall league. They do not stress winning at all and their aren't any play off games. The parents from both teams sit on the same side of the field and we are encouraged not to "yell" out at the girls. This is hard for me. I like to yell. A lot. I like to get out of my chair and cheer. I have never been negative at games and have always clapped when the other team scores. But if they don't want me opening my mouth at all, they better have some pretty strong duct tape.

Sophia is doing well. Sorta. She is battling allergies or a cold, not really sure which one. Monday night she woke up screaming and scratching her body like a mad woman. When I looked I saw she was red all over and covered in bumps. Of course this is the night Juan had duty. Being the panicky mother I am, I shook Merci and Andrew to wake up so I could take her to urgent care. It took me forever to wake Andrew up. Finally, by 10:30 we were on our way. Sophia was crying asking me if I would make it all better. I felt terrible because I had no idea what the bumps were. I get there and she sees a neat playhouse in the waiting room. She gets down and runs over to play. She made me look like I made this up! Finally, she was seen by the doctor. She said they were hives and we would probably never know why she got them. She gave her benadryl and a steroid medicine and we went home. I took her to the pediatrician the next day and she said hives can be normal. Yesterday she woke up with them again and benadrly took them away. Andrew stayed home today because his cough was so bad and Merci seems to be coughing a lot, too. I can't quit either. Man, we do everything as a family. Remember that stomach virus we all shared? I am hopeful the kids will be better by Saturday for their games!

There are some fun stories to tell from the past few weeks but I am tired! More to come soon (hopefully).

I love this verse....

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

With everything that is going on in the world, it is so easy to become discouraged. But I am glad I can find peace in it all. Goodnight:)

I Could Possibly Be The Luckiest Mommy In The World...

Really, I think I am. My kids are such a tremendous blessing to me. The other day I got Sophia dressed and she told me, "mommy, I a cutie pie". I told her she very much is and she told me to take a picture of her. So outside we went. Here are a few pictures I got of her. Words cannot ever describe how incredibly blessed I am and how thankful I am.

One Sick Mama, Sick Kiddos, and Valentine's Day

Well, the worst happened. We all (except Juan) caught the stomach bug. Sophia's was short lived, thankfully. By Monday she was reduced to a cough that the doctor said to keep a close eye on. Luckily it went away without any type of medicine. Monday morning I was feeling very nauseous and decided to put a bag in my car incase I got sick on the way to take the kids to school. I made it back home and was feeling a lot better so went on about my day...lots of washing since Sophia had been so sick. I went to pick Merci up at 2:00 and she was crying that her stomach was hurting really bad. I pulled into the shopping center to go in and get her gatorade. I decided she wasn't well enough to go in so I wanted to take her home to stay with Juan while I ran back to the store. I gave her the bag just incase. Thank the Lord I did, because within seconds she needed it. I pulled over very quickly and tried to not throw up myself. I cannot stand the thought, site, or smell of vomit. I just can't. Ugh. I get her home and fixed in her bed and ran back to the store. By the time I get home she had thrown up a lot more so I called the nurse hotline. She tells me to take her to the ER, which I thought was silly. I already had the medicine from Sophia's prior visit on Saturday and knew there wasn't much they could do. But I took her in anyways. They inform me there is a nine hour wait. There were two people in the waiting room waiting who insisted they were having a heart attack. I knew it would be so ridiculous to stay there for nine hours just to be sent home. So I took her home. We were home about five minutes and I started throwing up. A lot. I was miserable trying to take care of sick Merci and a spunky two year old. Juan and Andrew tried to keep their distance from us hoping they would avoid the virus. By 10:00 p.m. Andrew ran down the stairs throwing up. This was a nightmare. Juan looked like a chicken with his head cut off running around trying to tend to all of us. I gave him Merci and Andrew duty and I made a pallet in the downstairs bathroom. Juan went Tuesday morning to pick up the rest of Sophia's medicine. Luckily the doctor gave us extra knowing we would need it. We took some and that was the end of the throwing up. Juan went to work and we laid on the couch all day watching movies. It was an adventure. The kids were back to school on Wednesday. Thankfully it was a short virus.

I am so glad we were all better because Thursday we drove over to San Diego and met up with an old friend from Florida. Him and his wife became very good friends of ours and their daughters are absolutely precious. He was here for a short school so it was only him but we had a great time. We ate at Joe's Crab Shack on the ocean. It was beautiful. We played catch up and had a fun time. We headed back home and the kids finished up their Valentine's Day cards for their parties.

On Friday, the kids celebrated Valentine's Day and had a blast. I was combing Andrew's hair and he said, "mom, don't make me too hot, ok." He makes my heart smile, really. Merci had fun decorating her cards and spent extra time on her "favorites".

Juan was so excited about our gifts he gave them to us on Friday night. He got the kids books and play dough and some other things. He got me a two year package to a tanning/spa close to our house. It is awesome. I have been a lot since he got me the package. It is so relaxing!

Andrew had his first t-ball practice on Saturday. He did great! He is loving this sport, I don't know if he will ever go back to soccer. Merci starts soccer practice on March 1st and is super excited. I know she will do great.

I feel so blessed. And I have said this before and I will say it again, our God is truly amazing. The power of prayer amazes me and I feel incredibly blessed to serve Him. I look forward to growing each day in Christ. I am only human and recognize my faults and thankful I am forgiven for them.

The Invisible Mother

I have over a thousand unread emails in my inbox. I do not log on to my email by the computer very often unless I really need to and I do not like reading them from my phone. So a lot of them go unread. However, I was checking my email to see if Merci's soccer coach sent any information out and saw an email my mother-in-law sent. The title "The Invisible Mother" caught my attention because I can relate. I opened it up and began reading. It was a very touching email. It spoke of a mother who, over the time of raising her kids, began to feel invisible to everyone. She merely felt like a woman who sacrificed so many things for her family being a mother and it all went unnoticed and unappreciated. A friend gave her a book about the cathedrals built in Europe. The little book changed her entire views. The people who dedicated their lives to build the cathedrals made a tremendous sacrifice for something they would not even see the end results of. One of the most touching things I took from the email is when she concluded "the passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything." This is true about mothers as well. There are days I am sure my husband comes home and probably thinks to himself "wow, what did she do today?" If he only knew...

Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs. As clique as it may sound, it is very true. There are days I am sure it would be easier to put the kids in daycare and head to a 9-5 job. But I want to raise my kids and we are blessed enough for me to be able to stay home with them. I love being able to watch them grow and knowing what is going on in their lives. So as some days it may appear I am "griping" a lot, it is because it is a very stressful adventure. It isn't only about making sure they get their homework done and are at school on time, it is about making sure they are being raised so they can function as adults in a society that is so harsh. It is about making sure the values you want them to have are implemented on a daily basis so they never forget. Because once they are out on their own, their is very little you can do to change your mind about how you want them to be. It is teaching them about their faith and how turning away from God will only bring them hardship. It is teaching them about the consequences of their actions and how much they can affect their lives. It is teaching them about waiting to have sex for when they are married and not to do drugs, and having to do that without being so harsh about it that they want to rebel and do it anyways. Being a mother is hard. A lot falls on our shoulders. A lot. And I am not at all saying it isn't hard for fathers. I know it must be extremely stressful to have to worry about financially supporting a family and making sure your family doesn't go without they need. I have a tremendous amount of respect for my husband and the sacrifices he has made, not only for us, but for our country. I know him better than anyone else and I can honestly say he is an amazing man. At the end of the day we both want the same things, to be appreciated and recognized. I am certain God sees what I am trying to do for my kids and I am certain as long as I keep praying and believing he will help me achieve what I need to. And if my kids turn out to be respectable people and serve our amazing God, I will feel that I accomplished what I need to in life. And if it goes unnoticed to others, I know God has seen the sacrifices I have made and he will always appreciate me.

The last thing she says that I found point on is this "No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become". (These were her thoughts of what God would say to her)

I think after reading this email, I should make an effort to open more of the unread ones.

Oy!

There are only a few things I can think of that are worse than seeing your baby sick. Especially a two year old little princess. And the fact that it came out of nowhere makes it a tad worse. Saturday we got up super early and took the kids fishing at Pond Park. It is a catch and release pond so we just took Merci and Andrew's poles and let Sophia be in charge of the net. You aren't allowed to use live bait so we took a loaf of bread and hot dog weiners. We were walking up and saw an older man with a lot of fishing gear ready to fish. He was ahead of us and already thrown out his pole. The pond isn't huge. It is way more long than wide. We stayed a good distance from him but what my kids did next made him look at us like we were the most evil people he had ever seen. What did we do you ask? We threw a piece of bread to a single duck. This caused about 50 ducks to come out of nowhere running across the water, over the man's fishing line. They were quacking and diving for bread and it seemed like there were a million of them. I couldn't imagine why the man would be so mad. It wasn't like you were trying to catch dinner. It was a catch and release. And arent' parks more for kids anyways? I looked at all of the signs and nothing ever said to not feed the ducks. Finally the kids stopped feeding the ducks and started fishing. After a whole 2 minutes they were discouraged they weren't catching a fish. So they ran around and threw more bread. Another man walked up with about seven fishing poles and he had his game face on. Really? It is a catch and RELEASE pond. He knew every fact about fish. And I mean EVERY fact. He even showed us pictures. Finally we decided to walk the kids to the very end of the park so they could finish off the bread. They had a blast and afterwards climbed some trees. The perfect day. Around 10 pm Sophia told me her tummy hurt. I didn't think much of it and she fell asleep without a problem. I took her to bed and after I got out of the shower I heard her crying. She had thrown up all over her bed. I changed her, put the sheets in the washer and took her to my bed. She threw up again. And again. And again. By 1:30am she had thrown up about twenty times and I knew she should go in. As I am getting her out of the carseat she does it again. I take her in and they give her a pill and within 30 minutes she is feeling much better. But as we all know the ER is a very slow place, meaning they are bad about getting you in and out. At least that's how this hospital is. We finally get home by 6am and we are exhausted. The other part of the virus soon set in and Sophia was miserable. She finally fell asleep at 3pm and slept until 6am. Now she is feeling much better but has a nasty cough. I am hoping for a few things...Sophia feels better, the sickness skips me and Juan, and the sickness skips Andrew and Merci.

Prayers

Life is short. Life is unpredictable.

I keep up with a family whose daughter is fighting brain cancer. I have followed the story for a while now. I have cried and rejoiced with the family. I have found myself on my knees begging God to heal this little girl. And things were going well. After a horrible round of treatments, she was considered in remission. And this family has kept their faith better than anything I have ever witnessed. And today, as the little girl went in for a routine scan, they were very confident they wouldn't find anything bothersome. But they were wrong. Another spot was found. I have never met this family and my heart hurt for them as if it were my own. I was in shock, as the little girl has come so far and has not shown any signs of a new tumor. The parents are begging for prayers. Praying to God for a miracle. They know He can heal her. I pray, and I ask you to join me. We serve an awesome God and He can heal her, if it is His will.

After I read the news of the little girl and said a prayer, I looked over and saw Sophia sleeping. She looks so peaceful. I cannot put into words the feeling that I had. For a split second I imagined her being the one who is sick. I couldn't fathom it. I had to quickly change my thoughts and pray some more. It could easily be her, Andrew, or Merci. Or me. Or Juan. Or anyone in our family. I cannot imagine the pain the family is going through. I cannot imagine the thoughts the little girl must have. All I can imagine is our Father. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. None of us, no matter who we are. Rich or poor. Beautiful or ugly. White or black. The only thing that is for certain is we are all children of God. We all have a chance to be saved.

Here is the link to her website. Please pray for her and her family. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Juan is now a Captain! I am so proud of him and very grateful for his hard work. He is very dedicated to the Marine Corps and they are very lucky to have him!